


Scars

by UrsaeMinoris



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Hurt Keith (Voltron), I put Iverson Krolia and Kolivan in the tags because they appear but it's only shortly, Introspection, M/M, Missing Scene, POV Shiro (Voltron), Scars, Sheith Angst Week 2018, Shiro (Voltron)-centric, Unresolved Romantic Tension, fair warning for those who might be uncomfortable with it, from s7 ep13, shiro and kuron's minds fusion is mentioned, unconscious keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 06:52:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15925157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UrsaeMinoris/pseuds/UrsaeMinoris
Summary: Shiro had gotten used to his scars. It hadn’t been easy. When he had first seen his face in a mirror after escaping the Galra, he had barely recognized himself. He had had to learn to accept the scars as part of him -that included the prosthetic arm and the locks of white hair. He had adjusted to how sometimes they still hurt, even to the phantom pain from his arm – that was the worst part of it. The scars were his history written on his skin, a reminder of what he’d been through. Those weren’t happy memories, but they also were a testimony of his ordeal when it all felt unreal, sometimes ; when his memory failed him, or when what he remembered seemed too crazy to be true. In a way, the scars kept him grounded. The physical, visible scars helped when the mental, hidden scars started to hurt. The marks on his skin were also proof that he’d survived all that shit. Well, up to a certain point.----This is a missing scene from s7 ep13. Shiro is at Keith's bedside before he goes to give his speech.





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> Written for sheith angst week, on the theme "scars".
> 
> As usual, fair warning that English is not my first language and that I don’t have a beta reader !  
> I struggled a bit with that fic, as the tone is quite different from what I'm used to writing. I hope you'll enjoy it. I was a bit intimidated of sharing it, to be honest.
> 
> You can leave me feedback here or on tumblr (<https://ursae-minoris-world.tumblr.com/> : [Scars](https://ursae-minoris-world.tumblr.com/post/177846828288/scars)).

Shiro had gotten used to his scars. It hadn’t been easy. When he had first seen his face in a mirror after escaping the Galra, he had barely recognized himself. He had had to learn to accept the scars as part of him -that included the prosthetic arm and the locks of white hair. He had adjusted to how sometimes they still hurt, even to the phantom pain from his arm – that was the worst part of it. The scars were his history written on his skin, a reminder of what he’d been through. Those weren’t happy memories, but they also were a testimony of his ordeal when it all felt unreal, sometimes ; when his memory failed him, or when what he remembered seemed too crazy to be true. In a way, the scars kept him grounded. The physical, visible scars helped when the mental, hidden scars started to hurt. The marks on his skin were also proof that he’d survived all that shit. Well, up to a certain point.

 

This new body was not exactly the same, it felt _wrong_ sometimes. The Galra scientists who had created the clone had really outdone themselves to make it look just like him. Including the scars. They didn’t want the  deception to be discovered, so they crafted the new body with every little detail they knew of. Except you couldn’t mimic everything. They had placed scars in all the right places, but those scars were medically created, and hadn’t healed the exact same way. This wasn’t something you could just replicate artificially. He knew he was the only one familiar enough with them to notice the difference ; to _feel_ the difference. The subtle ways of how they hurt differently. Of how the skin was more elastic and less thick in that one place, of how a burn th at was still sensitive when it shouldn’t. They also only knew the scars he received as a gladiator. They had not been aware of the ones he had received while being a Voltron paladin, so they forgot a few. Then there was the new way his arm was cut off, the new prosthetic ; his hair all white. Shiro was still adjusting to all this. He actually liked the new prosthetic arm way better : offered by a friend, not imposed by an enemy, not created to control him like it had been for the clone. He could get used to all this. If anything, he was adaptable.

 

What he had more trouble getting used to were the scars on Keith’s body.

 

The scars on Keith’s soul, he had known for a while ; some of them he had known as open wounds and had tried to help heal, years ago. Just like Shiro’s mental scars, they could still bleed again if prodded too much. Which happened, for both of them. Shiro couldn’t help feeling guilty for being part of what made Keith suffer. He had realized the impact of his disappearance after the Kerberos Mission ; Keith had scolded him when he noticed he blamed himself for it. Of course, Keith was right, none of it was his fault, but still... And now, through the clone’s memory, he could see how his death had impacted Keith, again, how he had struggled with the task of becoming the Black Paladin. How the clone’s trauma and frustrations had collided with Keith’s own issues, hurting both of them in the process, and how Keith had ended up isolating himself from the team. Shiro wanted to tell himself that it wasn’t his fault, that it wasn’t even him, but the clone was still very much like him and he knew he could have acted similar. It was still him somehow, and the memories were as clear as if they were his own. Including the memories of their fight.

 

That was the one scar Shiro couldn’t look away from, the one he _remembered_ burning into Keith’s face while he was begging him to stop. And telling him he _loved him._ They had never really discussed it, awkwardly avoiding the subject. Keith tended to shut down when Shiro tried to bring up the fight, getting angry if Shiro tried to apologize. «It wasn’t your fault !» he would protest. «It wasn’t even you !» He didn’t even blame the clone, just Haggar’s mind control. In a way, he was right. But Shiro couldn’t help but resenting the clone for this. For being too weak. For not fighting back properly against Haggar.

Despite _remembering_ how much the clone had fought back, had restrained himself to avoid lethal injuries, to give Keith a chance to escape, to try to spare him unnecessary pain when everything seemed lost. But it still wasn’t enough. He had allowed himself to hurt Keith, and now, every time he looked at Keith’s face, he had to remember it.

 

Keith was unconscious right now, lying on his hospital bed, and Shiro wondered what new scars he had from this last fight. Shiro extended his left hand and stroked his cheek, where the scar was. Keith shifted his head slightly, squeezing his eyelids as if he was about to wake up, but he didn’t.

“Come back to me”, he begged under his breath.

He hoped for a moment that it would work. So many crazy things had happened to them that at this point, he wouldn’t even have been surprised. But Keith remained motionless. Shiro took a deep breath, trying to regather himself. He put his hand on Keith’s, gazing at his face again.

“I love you too, you know”, he added, quietly. He could have sworn Keith’s expression softened, but that might as well be wishful thinking, or a simple coincidence. If... _When_ Keith would be better, he would have to tell him. Maybe just like that, out of the blue, without letting Keith a chance to avoid the conversation.

 

Someone knocked on the door.

 

It was Iverson, flanked by Krolia and Kolivan.

“Shiro. Are you ready ?” asked the commander.

It was time for the funeral. Shiro had thought his speech out and was ready, but he didn’t like having to leave Keith.

“He won’t be alone” said Krolia, as if she had guessed the cause of his hesitation. She and Kolivan had arrived in haste as soon as they had heard about Keith. Apparently Krolia had immediately known something had happened, because the Blade had flickered.

 

Shiro nodded at her, and got up, joining Iverson at the door, while the Blades entered the room. Krolia gave him a reassuring smile before settling down on Keith’s bed.

Shiro took a last look at Keith, and exited the room.

Iverson patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. The doctors say he’s gonna make it.”

Shiro nodded again. His throat was tight and he didn’t feel like talking. Which wasn’t such a great sensation for someone about to say a speech.

 

But Iverson was right ; the doctors were optimistic for Keith, even if his recovery might be long. Keith was strong, he was going to survive this ; he had to trust him on that.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this ! It was an interesting theme to explore for me.  
> Feedback keeps me motivated ! So comments are welcome here, or on tumblr ! (<https://ursae-minoris-world.tumblr.com/> : [Scars](https://ursae-minoris-world.tumblr.com/post/177846828288/scars)).


End file.
